My Rebellious Childhood

One of my dearest friends, Haley, and I went to eat at one of my local favorites the other day at an obscure time of 3:45. While munching on fried pickles (that's the only hint I'm allowed to give), I noticed that I recognized one of the fellows inside from (I'm not even really sure what from but I'll go with my gut) elementary school. I realized this after eye contact had been made so it was too late to say hello (darn it). As we were leaving, I realized I knew his friend as well (this one I really did know from elementary school). So, I asked Haley "Was that __________?" Her response "Yes, I fired him from ________ a few years ago." Uh-oh. "Well, I'm guessing he doesn't like us very much," I sighed. Why you may ask? Back in kindergarten (that word looks misspelled and I've tried three different ways), this boy (lets call him Persuasive) Persuasive was just head over heels for me (who wasn't back then? Am I right? Am I right?), and it was absolutely the worst thing to have happened to me (and later on him) in kindergarten. One day (I hope he isn't reading this or doesn't come across it) he would not stop asking me to marry him. Literally all day, this Persuasive kid wouldn't leave me alone. So, we're standing in line somewhere (I was five, not the best memory) and he asks me to marry him again (way past the point of flattery), and I lost it. My mom that day didn't have time to "stitch-witch" my hemline so we threw a few safety pins up under there (ouch) and I used that to my advantage. Persuasive asked me yet again, so I did what every other 5-year-old girl would do and I unpinned my safety pin and I stabbed the brute.

Oops.

 He told on me and I got a detention (as a 5-year-old). After I explained this to Haley it made me realize that I got a lot of detentions from K-5-12th grade. That same year, I got another detention for throwing my best friend at the time, Mallory Harville's (shout out) quarter down the drain on purpose (I know, I would've hated my younger self too). First grade rolls around (new school, fresh start) and come winter time I grabbed my pair of white gloves from one of the cubbies and went on with my bidness (hello Office). Later, a girl in my class's mother called my mom and threw me under the bus by LYING that I straight up jacked her gloves. They were white cotton gloves. They looked identical you psychotic parent. I had to write lines for my parents that said something like "I will never steal again." It should've said "This is horse crap (you're welcome dad for the censoring)." I also had to call the little brat and apologize, call the mother (who was insanely rude to a first grader) and apologize and write a letter to them.


How can you be rude to that? Excuse the child pornography.


Second grade, Mrs. Dartois' class, I didn't take my medicine every day...........I would get up to get a tissue, sit down, get up again to sharpen my pencil, sit down, ask to go to the bathroom, come back, sit down, ask for water. Finally, she flipped and ended up duct taping my feet to the floor (seriously). That was probably my most valued lesson.

For the rest of elementary and throughout middle school, my detentions were nothing special. The occasional "chewing gum" and the usual "talkative" were the only highlights of my rebellious stage.

High school begins, and in English during 4th hour we had a sub (Mr. Adams.). So we're sitting in class and one of my fellow classmates asked me for a piece of gum. Being the extremely funny freshman that I thought I was, I figured I would pull a nice little prank on her (it's nothing special so don't let the suspense build). I knew we weren't allowed to chew gum, especially in this woman's class so I gave her the wrapper, but folded like gum (clever). I walked over to her desk and dropped it on there. As she went to pick it up, Mr. Adam's backpack-wearing-self snagged it before she could even flinch. He walked up to the podium and opened the mystery wrapper, looked at me in the eye with his intense glare and looked back down. Later I received a detention from him and the English teacher that read "Reason for Detention (or whatever it says in that section): Playing mind games."

I always had a feeling I was psychic, but that put the icing on the cake. HAPPPPPPYYY FRIDAY!!!!!! I'm starving right now, so I'm going to get Wendy's new breakfast (sooooo good). I'll post this later on. BYE YALL.