I'm a Pageant Star. Pt. 1

This is actually really difficult to talk about, but I trust all of you in not judging me and just accepting it and leaving it behind. Here goes nothing.

First. I have the worst friends ever. Just kidding, they're all fantastic. But. Sometimes they tell me to do things that will not benefit myself but that will provide them with entertainment. For instance, the Miss LSU pageant. Yes. I'm going there. Every day at the Chi O house, we'd all be chatting over some taco salad or maybe some sandwiches, laughing about the copious amounts of funny stories being shared amongst one another. So, one day we were discussing the upcoming Miss LSU pageant. We all agreed it would be highly entertaining if me and my dear friend Palmer Harbuck would "compete" in this. Over the next couple of weeks we all came up with ideas for the pageant, such as for the swim suit portion, wear a wet suit, or a thong bikini. Finally, we decided to do it. After step-show practice my friend Emily Culotta (my support coach) and I went to the Delta Zeta house (they were the hosts of the event) and signed my sorry arse up. I never realized how simple it was to sign up for something so...public. All I had to do was write my e-mail address down and BOOM. I'm in. Terrifying (to say the least). First practice rolls around and Palmer has decided not to do it anymore. Uh. Crap. I'm all by my lonesome doing something I am completely uncomfortable with. For the next couple of months we would practice (learning how to walk, learn a dance....yeah....how to speak). It was absolutely horrible.

The dance. So the theme was "America". Flashback to Drop Dead Gorgeous? I'm getting nauseated thinking about this. Seriously haha. First, they tell us about our costumes. If you ever saw pictures (or favorably witnessed) me in a costume, its never good. I mean its a great costume, but not lady like... ever. Mainly because I dress up like boys:

Was mistaken for a pledge this night.

Ok. You get the point. So when they said "America themed costume" my eyes lit up. I'm thinking Uncle Sam, full blown. A bald eagle. One time I took a guy to grub and made him wear a bald cap to perfect our "Simpson's" costume.

Back to pageantry. When I mentioned this to "the girls" (wow.) they politely shut my idea down with "ARE  YOU SERIOUS?! You can't do that!" Fine. I'll play it off with your rules. Me being the lazy/procrastinating person that I am, waited to do this costume until the day before we had to turn them in (or whatever). I have the greatest room mate in the world. CAMILLE MOTT!!! Friend her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter. She loves that.

We got to The Party Starts Here (Baton Rouge Party City) and look for anything with red, white, or blue. I would not wear some cheesy, slooty mcsloot sloot costume so we began searching, and all that they had are the slooty mcsloot sloot costumes. I'm screwed. I found a plus size sailor costume. PERFECT. It came down to mid calf so I knew that one could possibly work. After spending a good five minutes in Hobby Lobby, we venture home to begin arts and crafts. Camille altered (stitch-witched) the whole thing. And we bedazzled the shet out of it. I seriously can not believe I wore that, good lord. It came with a teeny tiny sailor hat. "What is this? A sailor hat for ants?!"

Besides the costume, these ladies were preparing for this thing to the max. One fellow pageant star, didn't drink for about three months. St. Patrick's Day Parade had been the previous Saturday and when we discussed it I told them of my state of mind and they replied with "Well, when we do things, we don't half-ass it." Ouch. Alright, I get it. That was one thing, being a week before the pageant and what not, but I made the mistake of going out the night before the pageant (saying pageant in such a casual slang right now is really bothering me). Boy was that rough, I'm pretty sure I smelled like a walking tall, cool Budweiser (Would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs?).

I was recently tagged in a photo from this thing...it will not stop haunting me.

Tomorrow, I will share with yall off the details from the day of the pageant. This post would be entirely too long if so. Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog. Happy Tuesday yall.