In the interviews, I went into them with the mindset of honesty (as opposed to flat out lying, I guess?). So when they asked me "Do you think we'll ever achieve world peace?"(Really?) I honestly responded "No, not really." Now, some of you will think I was just being negative, but I explained my answer. I basically told the little man that everyone on Earth wants to be more powerful than the other, and with that there will never be "world peace". It worked for me (like the energy shot).
After the interviews, we had time to go home and get our "things". I gather my bedazzled sailor costume (gag), my dress (that I still have from you Rebecca Stewart) that was too short, my bathing suit (I've got the chills) and a few more things. On my way to the Union (where this monstrosity was held) I had to stop and get something to eat. Since I was going to be walking around in a bathing suit (I did p90x for about two weeks with three months to prepare for this, then quit...), I figured I should eat something that won't make me bloat (yes, I just wrote that), so I get a smoothie from Smoothie King.
Arrived at the Union and everyone looks way more prepared than I do. Some people even had containers on wheels. Yeah. We began practicing. Oh lord.
First, we go with the dance. I failed to mention in the last post that the dance had two songs. The choreographer counted us off at the first practice (I was a 2) and the 1's got the song "American Woman" by Lenny Kravitz. In my head I'm thinking "Thank Jesus. Maybe I'll get something better than that." F no I didn't.
I got a 1920's doodle-bop song that required us to do dance moves like a "jazz square" which I had no idea what that was until then (and might I add...I do a delightful jazz square now). I did not know this dance come the day of the pageant, and the girl next to me did not know it either (we were front row in the dead center). Great. At one point I had to pretend I was a sailor.
By this point, I was starving beyond belief and it was go time (my entire family came to "support" me p.s.). Right before our "opening number" (ahhhhhhh) I forget the dance. Shocking. I seriously was about to just say "I'm done." and go get a burger. I sucked it up though.
In one of the heinous videos from this, you can see me watching the girl next to me the whole time because I have no idea what I'm doing. After our dance, we had to do "introductions" (I love using quotation marks and parentheses if you haven't noticed). Introductions go like this: "I'm Sydney Fletcher from Shreveport, Louisiana, the place that I call home! And I am YOUR CONTESTANT NUMBER 15!" You have to shout the last part. My introduction was basically correct "My name is Sydney Fletcher, and I'm from Shreveport, Lousiana, where we can all "Move it Like Berney" and I am your contestant number 15." I didn't shout. I figured it would startle them. I got a few chuckles from that one.
Bathing suit time. DEAR GOD NO. Every freaking girl was ripppppppppped. I mean 12 packs, buns of steel, big boobs. Then there's me! Whee! I forgot to bring my baby oil (oh no!) so I was extremely "ashy" on the stage and everyone else was lathered up. I did get to spray "butt-glue" on my tush. Talk about a sticky situation (get it?). I look terrified walking in that damn bathing suit I can gurantee it.
Evening gown. When I can figure out how to upload the video I will and you will be excited.
It's time to announce the Top 12. I was in the second row, in the center of the group. Literally, everyone around me was chosen, so I was standing by myself in the center of everyone. Then I did the only rational thing to do so I pageant waved for about five minutes.
I did not win. I'll upload the evening gown vid later. SPOILER: I shoot the judges with my "double-guns" after a dazzling twirl. Two of them thought it was funny. The other seven did not. SEE YALL LATA!
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