National Championship

     I just started my new job at Vertigo Boutique and was without a job for a little while so I'd keep having to ask my parents for money. This past Sunday I made plans to head to the National Championship. Being the responsible young adult that I am, I gathered $10.32 in change (technically $9.52, thanks Coin Star) and sold a couple of clothes at Plato's Closet (I know.) because I felt bad asking for yet another loan from the rents. For all you non-mathematics, I only scrounged up about $18. I had to ask for money anyways, but it's the thought that counts.

     For Christmas, Grayson bought the four of us (Hannah, Mallory, Haley, and I) Modern Family Season 2. I was giddier than a child hearing the ice cream truck. On top of receiving that wonderful gift, I figured out that my car can play DVDs. Needless to say, Modern Family makes the three and a half hour drive to Baton Rouge fly by with ease (the McDonald's that I consumed three separate times that day helped too...p90x my arse.).

     I stayed in Baton Rouge Sunday night at Helen and Meredith's apartment along with M'lynn where we watched Harry Potter and I turned myself into Hagrid.

     The next morning we were up and about. By 12:30 we'd been drinking pretty heavily and once we got to the Bourbon Cowboy it was bad news from that point on. Almost every bar on Bourbon was filled with Bama fans. At the BC (see what I did there?), for some idiotic reason they started playing "Sweet Home Alabama" (if you haven't vommed a little bit yet, you're soon going to.) and after the first verse "Sweet home Alabama....(pause) ROLL TIDE ROLL!" As if they weren't obnoxious enough. So I stole the microphone from some dude who was "in charge" (if you work on Bourbon Street and are "in charge" you don't let that song play...duh.) and began screaming "GEAUX TIGERS" and maybe a few other words that seemed offensive at the time.

We headed upstairs because it wasn't as crowded (and it was 3-for-1 shots) and that's when we met Joe ( at least that's what Helen thinks his name was). He complimented my sequin skirt (which was actually a dress) and touched it. It was disturbing. After the BC (abbrevs), we met up with some friends outside on Bourbon where I bought a purple and gold feather boa and a t-shirt that at the time I didn't understand I just wanted it because it was being paraded around on a seven foot pole and caught my attention:

Yeah I just took this on my IPHONE 4S. I had a go phone for six months so I have every right to brag.

Before we headed out to Lucy's and The Attic, we ran into Joe one last time and I convinced him to take a picture with me: 

I think I was seriously hurting this poor old man. But he was going for Bama, so who cares?

I thought I was the sneakiest Tiger fan of the day and in doing so I racked in about 300 high fives. I would go up to LSU fans and say Geaux Tigers to multiple groups of people and they'd return my friendly hand gesture. Then I'd go up to Bama fans and say "ROLL!..." and in during the pause I'd high five them then shout "TIGERS!!!!!!!" and then laugh in their faces and call them imbeciles. Idiots...them Alabama folks be.

At The Attic they projected the game on the wall so that was cool. On the road down to Nola, Helen had dared me to kiss a Bama fan and I said no. Then I met a Bama fan who asked Helen if my goal was to kiss a Bama fan and being the friend that she is told him "Actually, I dared her to on the way here." He made a bet with me "If Alabama gets a first down...." or "If Alabama scores here...."; having faith in the Tigers (which I shouldn't have) I accepted, and yeah.

On the way out the door, I fell down the stairs and people had to help me up. Quinn had to navigate drunken me through New Orleans to get to the car which was in drive, and she did it successfully. Go Quinn! Also I think I asked some random men (always a good idea!) and they didn't mug/molest me so it was successful all around!

The next morning, I woke up writhing in pain. I couldn't turn my head to the right or my body would cramp up and then go loose. It was the biggest biatch. So, after sitting on Helen and Quinn's couch for three hours with a heating pad (looking more pitiful than ever) I decided to go home. I literally had to sit sideways in my car just so I could see the road. FUN.

I still couldn't turn my head the next day and at lunch I actually shouted in pain, so I decided to go to the Quick Care thing:

                  

 I got to do some pretty gnarly x-rays and they showed my lungs holding in air. It was really cool. But then they gave me a shot in the ass. Not that cool. But then they gave me medication. Cool. That didn't work. Not that cool. I still can't really turn my head any, but my neck doesn't have too bad of spasms anymore which is pretty tight. Get it? Pretty tight, because my muscles are so tight I can't move my neck? Comedy hour is on Friday at 6, see y'all there!