"Pull around to the first window, Sir."...ehhhh...

If any of you have ever spoken to me, (so the 8 people in India that are reading this blog...you know who you are...you may not get this one as well) you would understand that I have a distinct voice. Some like to call it "unique". Well. Hell. I sound like a boy going through puberty. Charming right? This "issue" used to really bother me, especially when I was a wee tot. At some point over the past year, I was watching home videos of myself (so narcissistic of me....Camille be proud of me for using such a big word) and I realized I sounded like a "bro" even when I was like 7 years old. How unfortunate. I first got "called out" on the whole "why do you sound like a boy" situation when I was in the seventh grade. I'm not sure why I'm about to tell you all this story because it makes me look like a huge dweeb. Anyways, I thought it would be funny to call in to the radio show and speak to the radio personality "Stifler" :

He used to work with my father so it's ok.

I called in to his show because they were wanting to know funny signs/billboards around the area. So....being the "hilarious" seventh grader I thought I was, I called in and told them of some idiotic sign (that they did not find humorous at all) and after I told them and was pretty humiliated he just had to take this to the next level and say "Thank you Sir, have a great day!" I cried for probs 30 minutes straight. What a let down. 

Senior year, Mrs. (Ms.?) Sermons math class. Let's just say (she was the devil) we didn't get along. After about 3/4 into the year, she knew my voice distinctly. I'll admit, I was a little Chatty-Cathy in the classroom.......anyways....So, one fifth hour of doing agonizing pointless math problems (I'm an English major now Ms/Mrs Sermons so HA) she asked a question (while looking around the room) and I answered (probably something sarcastic) and the wench looked me in the eyes and said "Was that you? I thought it was a boy, haha (old lady laugh)..." I was angry. She later felt the wrath of Sydney Fletcher when I won HONOR MENTION in the art/math project. I drew Mugatu from Zoolander with mathematical spirals for hair. Brilliant I know.

Many moons have passed since that frigid witch said those hateful things to me, many, many moons. I just pulled out the bird and told her "It's real nice, I got it at Target. It was on sale." 

Now ever since these experiences, when I'm ordering food or speaking to a stranger on the telephone I like to raise my pitch a few notches, just to avoid sobbing and going into depression mode over the fact that my voice nodules were not built correctly. But it's no big deal! 

Well gang (bangers), I'm off to eat dinner with my friends, aren't you glad you know this? BYE HAPPY HUMP DAY (Totally forgot)!