Kids say the darndest things.

Amen Bill Cosby. This may be a surprise to most of you, but whenever I was younger, I said the most absurd things. Yesterday, while hanging with my posse, Haley and Grayson, we came across the fact that my brain really twists around phrases, making them seem disgusting and crude. What a charming quality I possess. Needless to say, our conversation brought up a few memories of my childhood that I would be delighted to share with you. Everyone remembers the cartoon of Sylvester and Tweety. Sylvester's catch phrase, "Suffering succotash!", Sufferin' Succotash what a hit. That phrase got my parents and their friends many laughs when it came to ol' Sydney Fletcher's twist on words. I would go around, thinking I was just so hilarious and cute, saying this phrase, except I didn't have it all right...I thought it would be better as "F*ckering f*ckotash!" Yes, and just to be clear, my parents never went around and said the F-word slangily, it literally just popped into my head (you're welcome mom and dad). Another "off" moment I experienced was in the grocery store with my dad, I was probably 3 or 4, (this one may bite you in the rear dad) he was pushing me in the cart and I would say "Daddy, you have a vanilla face." His response, "No, you have a vanilla face!" I know, precious daddy/daughter bonding. This continued back and forth for a while when a man walked past us and I shouted "Daddy, he has a chocolate face!" You get my drift. My poor dad. We raced out of that grocery store pretty quickly. The last phrase that I shall post about is the phrase "love at first sight". You're probably wondering how someone can mess up such a common phrase, well let me tell you, it's possible. Me and my mom were driving down East 70th around Christmas time, you know, when they have the Salvation Army volunteers awkwardly collecting change at every red light? Well one of them was smoking hot, I know, don't judge me. So we made intimate eye contact for like 8 seconds, and it was truly magical. Later that day, I went over to my dad's house, and when he asked about my day, Salvation Army boy pops into my brain and I blurt out " DAD. I made love at first sight today!" I wonder what was running through his head...possibly "Crap. My daughter is a sleaze."? Fortunately, he understood what I meant, or did you dad? ;)
Just kidding. Well, considering this was an early post, you may all be in luck for another one later on this evening. G'day. Just for piss n' laughs (is that right?): Old Gregg (memory lane folks, memory lane.)